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Towards Making The Right Choice Of Who To Marry

Quite often, the success of our marriage to a large extent depends on the type of person we choose as our marriage partner. That is why making the right choice of who to marry is one of the uphill tasks of some young men.

Some couples whose marriages had failed, some claimed that the major reason for the failure was because they made the wrong choice of who they married.

The above is a pointer to show that the success or failure of our marriage is determined by the choice of the man or woman we married. During marriage seminars, one of the questions that are always on the lips of some young men and eligible bachelors is “how do they know the right person to marry”?

The normal answer I usually give to them is that they should try and be the right person. This is because like attract like and it is said that birds of the same feather flocks together. That is to say, it is our person that determines if a man or woman will be compatible with us or not. You can’t just marry anybody because not everybody will be compatible with you.

So you should try to be the right person if you wish to get the right person to marry: This is the first step in choosing the right person to marry as a wife or husband. If you are not the right person, even if you marry the right person, your marriage may never work. For instance, what do you say of a very lazy man but wish to marry a very hard working woman?

You must have adequate knowledge of who you really are: It is having adequate and true knowledge of yourself, who you really are that guides you to choose the kind of person you need as a wife or husband.

If you don’t know who you are, you may not be able to know the kind of person you need as a husband or wife. It is the knowledge of who you are that enables you to determine the kind of person you need as a wife or husband that will be compatible with you.

You should define your choice of the kind of woman or man you want as a husband or wife: Having the right knowledge of who you are, the next step is to define your choice. It is said that if you don’t know what you are looking for, it will be likely that you will never know when you finds it.

A look at what happened in the book of Genesis 24: 12 -22 clearly show the need to have a mental picture of the kind of woman you want as a wife. It is that picture that you pray to God about. In that passage above, the oldest servant of Abraham who went to take a wife for Isaac made a prayer based on the kind of woman he wants for Isaac: Then he said, “O LORD God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham.

He said in verses 13 -14 “Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. “Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’ -let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this, I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.”

Also in verses 15-17 And it happened before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.

Now the young woman was very beautiful to behold, a virgin; no man had known her. And she went down to the well, filled her pitcher, and came up. And the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please let me drink a little water from your pitcher.”

In verses 18-22 So she said, “Drink, my lord.” Then she quickly let her pitcher down to her hand and gave him a drink. And when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.” Then she quickly emptied her pitcher into the trough, ran back to the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.

And the man, wondering at her, remained silent so as to know whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not. So it was when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a golden nose ring weighing half a shekel, and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels of gold,

In defining your choice, I counsel young men that they should pay attention to who they are and where they are going rather than where they are present.

Also, ladies, you should consider a man for marriage not based on his present position or situation but on whom he really is and his future prospect in life.

Again, in defining your choice of the kind of person you wish to marry, you should try and be realistic and very objective in your choice. To guide you, you should ask and answer the following questions:
(i) The person I desire to marry, will that person equally desire and accept to marry me?
(ii) Will I be proud of that person I wish and desire to marry and will that person accept and equally be proud of me?
(iii) Will I be proud to be the father or mother of his or her children and will he or she be proud of me being the father or mother of his or her children?

I counsel young men and women, you should really marry the person you are proud of both now and in the future. If you marry the person you are not proud of, in future you may start to compare him or her with other men or women in town and that leads to a crash of marriages.

Again, in defining the kind of person you need as a wife or husband, you need to take into consideration certain factors such as character, the person’s background, beauty and the social class which he or she belongs to among other things. I said this because you need to choose a person who has a positive contribution to make in your life rather than reduce it.

Also as a man, you should endeavor to choose a woman you really love, a woman who you feel will compliment you and be submissive to you. And as a woman, never marry a man who you are not sure of his love for you and a man you feel that you would not respect and be submissive to.

Also, in making the right choice of who to marry, you must consider a person who is ready and willing to compromise for the sake of his or her marriage. If you observe some failed marriages, one of the reasons the couples cite as the cause of their marriage failure is “irreconcilable differences”.

If you choose a man or woman that is selfish and always insist on having his or her way in every issue, your marriage will never last as this will be a wrong choice. If you happen to marry such a person, you will either endure the marriage or you will end up as well with the problem of “irreconcilable differences”.

Until I come your way again, stay committed to making the right choice of who to marry and as well, be the right person yourself. Shalom.

Culled from http://www.evergreenmarriage.com, visit the site for more interesting and educative articles.

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